ellen H. Weiland LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Mental Health Practice and Consultation
Other Writings . . .
> The
Pleasure Re-Connection
The Redball of Fire
On "Entering the Silence"
The use of ecstatic trance in the treatment
of a
sexual abuse survivor.
by ellenHelga Weiland
Rhea walked through the door, pale green in
color, stiff again, general body and face muscles almost frozen.
This was her weekly therapy session. She had come directly
from the cemetery where she and her siblings had buried their
father.
There had been little notice about his impending death, and
only one month to come to terms, if not peace with the man
who had taught her much of what she knew about sex. What she
recalled was painful and traumatic.
In response to this crisis she had reclaimed her body armor,
and sat defended and heavily guarded on my office couch, seemingly
determined to deny her own animating force.
Tightly perched on the corner of that couch, legs up, knees
enfolded by her arms, she sat staring straight through me,
out through the window and beyond. We remain silent.
There were no tears, no visible emotions, no show of pain,
no shock. There was no expression of any kind, only an uncanny
and uncomfortable stillness, the kind of silence which foretells
an intra-psychic storm.
I had anticipated this moment. Before she arrived I feared
losing her to this sudden turn of events.
I recalled when I met Rhea in 1987. She was a nun, an elementary
school teacher, daughter, sister and friend to many. She was
27 years old and in the midst of a severe depression, exhibiting
some suicidal ideation with one mild effort to act out destructive
images. Her mother had died two years earlier.
Rhea suffered from recurrent night terrors including imagery
from the dark side in which she was a child sacrifice, dismembered,
heart torn out and consumed by hooded robed, faceless male
figures in a subterranean cave.
During the three years following her two psychiatric hospitalizations,
she had worked long and hard to dissolve some of her defensive
armor, to improve her self image, to deal with her spontaneous
abreaction of historical trauma, to learn to manage her own
imaginal as well as emotional world, to increase her flow
and expression of creative energies, to organize her internal
world and create a self-caretaking system which was kinder,
more gentle, more present to her, than was that of her original
internalization. She worked also to develop trust towards
herself and her external world.
Rhea had continued outpatient treatment in my private practice.
She also met with her pre-hospital therapist.
She proved to be an interesting client and eager student who
was highly motivated to learn and apply new understandings
of psychophysical/ psycho/spiritual skills which included
what I call "energy management." [ 1
] During the last session, prior to her fathers death and
funeral, she had told me "My family wants me to tell
him I love him. I don't feel love for him. How can I love
a man who abused me. How can I tell him that lie, and sell
myself cheap? How can I make believe it never happened? Don't
they understand? They don't know what he did to me."
Pale green and silent she now again sat as I assessed and
defined the moment. "Pissed, are you, that he died before
you could get clear of him?" She barely shook her head,
affirmatively. "You are mourning not only his death,
but the loss of parts of yourself at his hands. You are mourning
the loss of a potential relationship with a father, that never
materialized." She kept shaking her head "yes."
On a whim I flippantly told her I thought she had at least
three major choices as to what to do at this moment. Freezing
her body/mind system, while it was an option, was not my primary
recommendation.
The second and most obvious, though not necessarily the most
productive choice, I told her, was to further lose herself,
in what seemed like, the now unreconcilable traumatic memories
of early sexual, mental, and physical abuses, suffered at
the hands of her alcoholic father, her dysfunctional mother
and siblings as well as other sexual abusers.
The third choice, less obvious I admitted, and often not offered,
was for her to shift her focus and energies into experiencing
pleasure right here and now.
I recalled Plato's theory of the relations between trance
and music as represented by Gilbert Rouget, [2
Music and Trance] "People who are psycho-logically
somewhat fragile, and who as the result of god's anger suffer
from divine madness, cure themselves by practicing ritual
trance, which is triggered by a musical motto and takes the
form of a dance; music and dance, by the effect of their movement,
re integrate the sick person into the general movement of
the cosmos..."
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A bit shocked at my suggestion, Rhea glared at me and almost
fell into my eyes. "Pleasure? I can have pleasure?"
she seriously asked. "Well, yes, I think you can. Your
father is dead. He has crossed the threshold into the next
realm and his physical form is buried. What's done is done.
You can and will have many memories, feelings and thoughts
with which to contend, regarding both his life and death,
as well as the failure of your father/daughter relationship.
You have all the time in your life to resolve them. Where
is it written that you need to work through all that right
now? Fragmenting and dissociating, while under this strain,
are not the only choices you have!"
I don't know what I was thinking, or if I was thinking. My
own words sounded so callous to me. Yet as is so often the
case in my work, my intuition was exploding in multicolor
bursts of fireworks which were impossible to ignore. Talking
about grief and the death of a parent seemed the wrong thing
to do at this time while Rhea was mourning a loss of a self
who was really sitting on the couch waiting to be reclaimed.
"Lets try pleasure," Rhea said tentatively, adjusting
her physical position just a little.
My socialization at the Jane Addams School of Social Work
led me to asking, "How often are sexual abuse survivors
invited to experience ecstatic trance rather than 'talk about
the problem' in the therapeutic setting?" "How can
we even effectively talk about inducing plesure when the client
has dissociated and fragmented under maltreatment?" [
3 ] The healing that Plato
and Rouget suggest takes place in the experience, not in the
talking. In indigenous cultures, ecstatic trance occurs during
celebrations, and is a normal part of their frequent religious
rituals. (Eliade, 1984). Our Western culture offers precious
little opportunity to enter ecstasy. A dear friend reminded
me that "our ecstasy is the roar of the people at Big
Games."
How then does one transmute pain into pleasure without at
least a little modeling, a good deal of permission, and the
opportunity? How, when or where does one learn to allow free
expression of creative energies when one has been trained
to suppress and deny life's animating force? How does one
activate pleasure and an ecstatic state while in the proximity
of other humans, when personal history has proven that to
be dangerous undertaking?
As therapist, when does one, allow such exploration and experience
while maintaining the highest moral standards and a sense
of personal and professional integrity?
When will we, the mental health profession, collectively begin
to address these questions and promote a change in the morphic
resonance [4 A New Science
of Life] of what is therapeutically possible? I questioned,
"What if Rhea distorts my actions and merges this experience
with old memories of sexual abuses?" I am aware of the
professional dangers for the well meaning therapist who approaches
such delicate psychic re balancing.
I resolved to think further on these questions after I followed
through on this exploration with Rhea. This moment called
for action, no further rhetoric.
I knew my intention to be clear: I planned to offer her a
healing opportunity to regain some vital parts of herself
and to activate her pleasure mechanism, rather than support
her fragmentation and unconscious, imaginal entry into the
coffin along with her now deceased father. I had to take a
chance on this radical intervention and therefore created
an on the spot ritual to induce an ecstatic trance.
Ecstasy and pleasure, for me, are no longer only rational
concepts. Ecstasy is a state in which the whole being, including
multiple brain factions, come into a harmonious resonance
or brain wave synchronization.
This coherent brain functioning appears to allow a free flow
of, and greater access to a higher intelligence or consciousness.
At its height one can engage a mystical experience, or as
I like to think of it, one can "go home to sit in the
lap of God/the Source/Daddy," if you will.
Such a highly pleasurable and healing experience can be prompted
by activating the physical senses. A synesthesia, [5
The Possible Human] or crossing and mixing of stimuli
between the senses, appears to facilitate an energetic flooding
of the brain. This flooding activates associations within
our storage well of images. The inner senses are called into
play and multiply these associations. One journeys through
the levels of the psyche, from the sensory to the psychological/historical,
then into the place of story/myth. As one is actively engaged
in mythic imagery, one may suddenly, spon-taneously or by
willing it, be transported into the integrative level of the
psyche. This is the place of union where one may experience
rapture/ecstasy. [6
The Possible Human] During the ecstatic state one
seems to melt into the overriding/common cons-ciousness or
Soul, God, the Source or Unity, whatever name one wishes to
attribute to the Organizing Intelligence.
Ecstasy can be seen as the gift of the journey through one's
extended reality and a meeting with "the Beloved of the
soul. [7 The Search
for the Beloved]" It offers the opportunity for
healing, for re-sourcing, re-cognizing, for re-plenishing,
and of a re-membering who one truly is, as well as finding
one's place within the universal scheme of things. Rhea certainly
needed a journey to the Source. She needed to be re-cognized.
I breathed deeply, slowly and deliberately inducing a shift
of consciousness within myself, first to an alpha state and
then a deeper brain wave rhythm.
I firmly believe that modeling a deliberate flow through consciousness
facilitates the clients loosening up and becoming dynamic
rather than stagnant.
I encouraged Rhea to sit back, to close her eyes and relax.
I gave her a blanket with which to cover herself since altered
states at times induce a lower body temperature. I paced her
breathing as she released into a light trance.
I sharpened my own brain focus as I walked mindfully [8
Psychophysical Reeducation Course # 1] across the
room to light a stick of Tibetan incense which quickly scented
the office. I played meditative music [9
Trance Tape] softly in the background as I used sound
equipment to amplify, soften and manipulate my voice in a
trance deepening technique. I used the following imagery to
guide her journey: "And sitting back very comfortably
now, as your breathe slowly and deeply, following you breath
all the way in and all the way out. You are inhaling as though
you had nostrils in the soles of your feet, and exhaling as
though out of the top of your head, breathing gently now,
and deeply now.
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And closing your eyes now as you instruct your muscles to
lengthen and relax, lengthen and relax. Telling your joints
to loosen and relax, to loosen and relax, breathing gently
and deeply now.
You feel warm, comfortable and at ease, relaxed now, safe.
You feel safe. You sense no danger in this room as you become
more and more aware of your body now, and your presence in
your body and in this room.
Take this time now to develop you body image, sensing first
your skeletal parts, and tendons, then adding muscles, flesh,
skin, hair and details, adding your circulatory parts and
neurological elements.
Bringing your attention now to sensing your feet, your toes,
arches, heels, your ankles, shins, calves, your entire lower
legs.
Adding to your body image your knees, bringing your consciousness
as completely as possible to your knees.
Now adding your thighs.
Note your torso as that sacred vault which holds your heart,
your lungs, digestive tract including esophagus, stomach,
intestines, appendix if it is still there, or space where
it used to be. Image all of the organs in your torso, being
certain to include your excretory and regenerative organs.
Sense now your shoulders, arms, elbows, wrists, hands, fingers
in the greatest detail possible, adding those images to your
developing body image.
Focus upon your head, the vault for not only many sensory
organs, but also for your very precious brain. That organ
system which acts as the connection between your mind and
body. Sense how the cervical spine acts as a bridge between
your lower spine and your skull and brain system.
Be as aware and sensitive as you can be of that connection,
feeling the spine all the way from the coccyx up into the
skull and brain.
Pay very close attention to that spine and brain area. Notice
whether you experience a very subtle flow of electro-magnetic
energy which carries the sensory stimuli from your primary
receptors into your brain system and returns a directive response
to all your body parts.
And as you feel that current, enjoy its warm and tingling
flow, allowing yourself to move your body and spine to facilitate
that flow of those life sustaining impulses of your electro-magnetic
energies.
Sense now the rich green, indigo and gold velvet scent of
Tibet encircling you, carrying you on its swirlings to the
heavens, the soft, gentle waves of sound of this meditative
music reinforcing and strengthening your journey, as you are
listening to my voice now. Relaxing, and at ease now. Safe
now.
You are embraced and held, carried by the taste of Tibet and
its rich rainbow of the gentle rhythms, seeing the vibrant
green indigo and gold of the smoke's melody, feeling the tingling
of the music upon your very skin, remembering back, remembering
a time when you felt so safe, so relaxed, so held.
Breathing, slowly and deeply now, as you image in great detail
your pleasurable memories, your safety, and nurturing love,
as you recall the details of that experience.
Where are you? What season is it? Is it raining, snowing,
or is the sun shining? Who is present with you? What clothes
or distinguishing jewelry are they wearing? What is the color
of their hair and eyes? Do they wear perfumes or oils? Can
you feel their presence? Describe for yourself the feeling.
What are they saying to you? Are you answering them? Remembering
whatever you can as you re-experience this pleasurable moment.
And letting go of the memories now, continuing to breathe
gently and deeply, being fully aware of you physical body
as you recline there on the couch, relaxing and releasing
any possible remaining tensions.
With your eyes now, please focus on your brain space. Just
look around inside of your head at your brain space. Notice
that small cushion of space between your skull and your brain,
a safeguard that protects the delicate tissues of your brain
system. Notice too the convolutions of your neo-cortex, your
new brain. Just allow yourself to slide along its ridges and
folds.
Now travel along that bridge which lies between your left
and right hemisphere, the corpus collosum. Experience the
support of that healthy and strong connecting bridge between
your left and right hemispheres.
Allow yourself to sink into the center of your brain, and
notice a shift in its structure. As you observe carefully
you will find your mid brain with the pituitary and pineal
gland. It is said the pineal gland is responsible for our
most ancient vision. Explore this part of your brain. Allow
such vision to rise.
Allow your self to travel through your mid brain, the seat
of your emotions, of pleasure, of sexuality, of calling again
those primary visions from the lens of your inner eye.
Slide down into your Reptilian complex. Notice that healthy
primitive brain always ready to serve your survival needs.
Sense how quietly it rests as you feel safe and at ease now.
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[10 Spiral Assention]
(I changed the music to invite a deepening of the trance
state.)
Now with your eyes make beautiful, perfectly round, horizontal
circles inside your head. Circle first clockwise then counterclockwise.
Now circle diagonally from the upper left side of your brain
space to the lower right side of your head, and up the back
of your head, and diagonally down the front again.
Now circle diagonally from the upper right side of your head
to the lower left side of your head, tracing as beautiful
circles as you able to make.
Now again circling horizontally. Circling round and round
and beginning now to spiral inward, slowly and gently spiraling
inward until you reach a still point at the center of your
brain space.
And hold your focus there at that center. Should you lose
your focus, begin again to circle as widely inside of your
head as you are able, spiraling in slowly, then, slowly, easily,
spiraling into the center into your still point.
*And now spiraling up and up and out now, out of the center
of your crown, up, up through the ceiling of this room, this
house, community, state, country, atmosphere, beyond our moon,
beyond the planets of our solar system, beyond our galaxy,
out to the far reaches of the universe, through that black
hole into yet another universe.
And spiraling back now, returning from that distant universe,
through the outer galaxies, through our Milky Way, into our
solar system, past our planets, past our moon, through Earth's
atmosphere, the country, state, community, house, ceiling
of this room and through your own crown, into the very center
of your brain space, into your still point.** [ 11
] (Repeat from * to ** several times as needed.) I watched
Rhea's frozen pose melt. Her feet settled down to the floor.
The tension of the blanket slacked as her legs relaxed. Her
arms lay easily at her sides. She looked more grounded. Her
entire body seemed to lengthen, and flow into an ease of movement.
Her face re-formed and opened as does a flower in spring.
Her mouth hinted a smile. Her color changed to a pink flush
as her body began to undulate in subtle, serpent like movements.
Her eyelids fluttered, indicating an altered state of consciousness.
What was going on before me seemed sexual. I questioned, "What
am I doing in this room?" and answered, "I am allowing
this person to release into the source. Orchestrating creative
(including sexual) energies from the physical plane to the
higher centers is a part of such releasing."
She seemed far removed from her daily cultural trance, and
from the pain of family and personal crisis with which she
entered the office.
As I saw her blissful state and gently undulating, almost
copulatory movements, I again questioned, "What am I
doing in the room?" This was my first effort to use an
ecstatic trance in a private therapy session. I had given
her permission to be spontaneous. Now my own capacity to be
present for this level of ecstatic freedom within and around
a client was challenged. That challenge will be the focus
of another work.
The hour passed more quickly than I expected. I decided to
ignore the time, and allowed Rhea to return from her blissful
journey at her own pace.
Wide eyed, smiling, pink flushed she returned and said in
a low, deep, full voice. "Hmmmm! Pleasure! Yes. I'll
take pleasure." She verbally sketched her experience
as a coming into union with god.
From that day to this, Rhea never abreacted sexual abuse scenes
again. She stopped spontaneous regressions into helpless,
child states. She is developing and exercising her adult functions,
both in her personal and professional life. She is learning
to manage her extended, symbolic reality. She has come to
terms with her own sexuality and is currently dating a young
man. She has graduated from client/therapist relationships,
and no longer lives the "I am broken, will you fix me?"
theme. Rhea and I engage in a transformational relationship
wherein we challenge one anothers unfolding.
"Education should, but does not, teach us to make effective
use of our bodies and our minds. We are not taught the inter
relatedness of movement, sensing, thinking, and feeling functions,
or how mind and body interact to determine what we are and
what we can do. We are not even taught how to use our bodies
efficiently so as to avoid damage to the organism. Nor are
we given any inkling of the true range of our human potentials,
much less how to use them productively.
By suppressing many of our potentials, we develop the personality
(and doubtless the brain also) in an imbalanced way. Adequate
awareness of the body and of body-mind interactions is basic
self-knowledge, and until these defects are remedied, education
will always fail--fundamentally. Whatever is learned and taught
by individuals who are thus handicapped by basic self-ignorance
cannot be learned or taught as well as it might be."
[12 Listening to the
Body] This trance experience marked a dramatic turn
in Rhea's therapeutic process, and an equally remarkable turn
in my own therapeutic approach. Before our eyes, and for our
scrutiny, were issues we both could not ignore. What exactly
had gone on in therapy? What if I had failed to offer the
choice to enter ecstasy? How much longer would Rhea have used
well learned and rehearsed behavioral responses to activate
again and again archaic, painfully abusive, and traumatic,
memories.
In my efforts to be empathic and understanding, did I inadvertently
teach how to reinforce painful memories and experiences for
Rhea, and is that the case in most therapeutic modalities
used by therapists?
Do we well intentioned, empathic therapists exercise and re-exercise
the clients pain to the point of its perfection. Is it possible
that that is why most therapeutic modalities have poor long
term success rates?
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"Studies of psychotherapy initiated by Hans Eysenck in
England after the Second World War often show that people
who undergo psychotherapy, especially psychoanalysis, if they
are chosen at random from many seeking it, do not benefit
more than those who are denied it. Several more recent studies
indicate that some forms of psychotherapy make some people
better, others worse, with only a shade more showing improvement
rather than decline. This evidence of a lack of empirical
success on the part of psychoanalysis often comes as a surprise
to the public at large, and to those culturally influenced
by psychiatroid mentation, since "cures" are much
discussed and dramatized, failures less so." [13
Mind Field] If I as therapist attend pain, does the
client's creative process manufacture and assure continued
painful experiences in order to maintain a seemingly supportive
relationship? It appears that if I attend pain by focusing
upon it during the therapy hour, then the client will follow
my lead. My ever growing experience in the use of ecstatic
trance as well as my use of traditional interventions, indicates
that clients often present whatever I attend and support.
[ 14 ] "Simulations
of reality, whether realistic or not, can also trigger emotions
that in turn affect the brain's pleasure centers. We can become
conditioned to distort our simulations of reality in ways
that make us feel good. Since apparent unpleasant feelings
often have a hidden secondary gain of feeling good underneath,
as was discovered in studies of psycho pathology, simulations
of reality that seem to make us suffer may have a hidden payoff,
" [15 Waking Up]
I have watched many clients come lost and disoriented in the
confusion of their darkness, their chaos, and noted how they
rely on information from, and experience with me to learn
how to organize and enter their own brightness. It is a great
joy to work with such folk and watch them unfold.
I find, however, that there are any number of people who arrive
in dark chaos, who insist on staying in the darkness, and
who work diligently to invite the therapist and others to
join them in that place.
"Energy flows where attention goes." [16
Lecture at Human Capacities Progam] As I continue
to attend a client's expression of pain and trauma, he or
she appears to open their bottomless pit of seething troubles.
It is as though we are playing a game of feeling good about
relating, while we are subliminally interacting on the subject
of pain.
In the case of Rhea, given the opportunity and the challenge,
she quickly shifter her orientation from one of re-experiencing
archaic trauma to pursuing pleasurable and creative endeavors.
Her focus in therapy became, "What skills and disciplines
do I need to learn so that I can get my show on the road?
Can you teach me? What will happen to our relationship, our
meetings if I am no longer "sick" or acting as a
"needy client?"
I ask myself and pose the question to you the reader, whether
our well intended therapy process, as traditionally learned,
may have developed into the western cultural ritual? Does
such ritual offer a thera- peutically intimate relationship
by focusing on the uncovering and sustaining of painful experiences?
Is that one major way to achieve intimacy in our culture?
Is it perhaps time to review and revitalize our therapy ritual?
I think that there is a time and place for exploring traumatic
history. I do not advocate discounting and burying such events,
and their resulting wounds. I know that many clients lack
the awareness of "when it is enough, and when to shift
out of the pain." Such clients may need to have their
experience orchestrated, again only by guides of high integrity.
I think that our ultimate focus in therapy must be directed
towards the "education of the client." Such education
must impart to him/her the how to's of "making effective
use of his/her body, mind, and extended energy system, and
to teach the inter relatedness of the moving, sensing, thinking
and feeling functions."
The body is a hedonistic being. I have every reason to think
that at conception it holds, for all of us, a pleasure seeking
organization. If by chance of our gestation, birth, and upbringing
we forget our basic ecstatic nature, then it is vital that
a therapy process allows us the experience to recall and remember
who we truly are, rather than sustain the misconception of
the unalteralble perpetuity of our acquired pain orientation.
The ancient Greeks who were an initiatic culture, defined
"therepeia" as the journey of the soul. We define
therapy as"the treatment of disease or disorders, as
by some remedial, rehabilitating, or curative pro- cess."
[17 Random House Dictionary
of the English Language] A "therapon" was
one skilled at being high witness to the journey of the soul.
We define a therapist as "a person trained in the use
of psychological methods for helping patients overcome psychological
problems." [18
Random House Dictionary of the English Language] Rhea
arrived for session with an issue we both could have defined
as a psychological problem. By token of my choice of intervention,
we allowed the experience to evolved as a transformative challenge
for her soul. Certainly this session with Rhea was "therapeic"
rather than "therapy." I was not only a therapist
using my skills to help her with a psychological problem.
I was high witness to her souls transforming journey, to her
ecstasy.
1) I routinely teach
an awareness of one's extended reality, including the workings
of the chakra system and the subtle energy bodies. The Possible
Human: A Course in Enhancing your Physical, Mental, and Creative
Abilities, Jean Houston, J.P. Tarcher, Inc., Los Angeles, CA,
1982.
3) When I ask these questions, I think
about how often such an opportunity is made available by therapists
of character and a strong sense of integrity, who place no additional
sexual demands on the client.
11) This trance is based on the teachings
of Jean Houston and Robert E. Masters.
14) I must say that not all persons
are ready to relinquish their pain, regardless of their discomfort.
Pain is often an old friend to which we have become attached.
It takes time to be willing to give up that attachment.
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