Re: Weave Prose Section: Cathy Jensen: dreamweaving

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Posted by Cathy Jensen on November 30, 1999 at 22:29:38:

In Reply to: Weave Prose Section: Add yours! posted by Penny on May 31, 1999 at 15:16:37:

Thanksgiving day, 1999

I am a chalice. My life has been so filled with goodness that the sweetness rises
above the rim of the container, held there only by its connection to the reservoir
of joy embraced by the cup below. A single drop of loving kindness from beyond, or
a tear from within, breaks the surface tension, causing an overflow of love to spill
outward to all of you.

After a summer of irrisistible horizontal attraction to mother earth, I finally
realized that if I want my life to be my greatest work of art, my gift to the world,
I needed to start with the foundation of being as healthy as I can. With the caring
and support of everyone on this list, this morning my tears are tears of joy.
Yesterday I reached a great milestone on that path.
The guidance that I received that propelled me along the way was that on my
fiftieth birthday, despite a spinal cord stenosis (picture a garden hose folded in
half to stop the flow of water, except the garden hose was my spinal cord), I plan
to run the 7.5 mile Bay to Breakers (up hill and down) in San Francisco. (That's
now just eighteen months away.)
Yesterday, I was able to walk 5K (3.1 miles), without even using my canes!
Granted, my friend Merrily carried them for me (just in case), as she walked the
last mile of my race after running her own. (When creating miracles, always accept
the assistance of angels.) As I walked along the water's edge I was alone from time
to time. But the warm sunshine and the seabreeze's whisper brought back all the
memories of kindness and encouragement that we have shared. By the finish line, I
could look up and see all your smiling faces in the crowd. I even walked the final
mile in under forty minutes.
My goal had been to donate my leg braces back to the hospital next
Thanksgiving. I used them to keep me stable as I increased my walking distances and
strengthened my legs. I'll be smiling ear to ear next week when I drive to Rancho
Los Amigos Hospital to give them to my physical therapist.
Next year I dream of taking a Zen kayaking trip to Alaska. The meditation is
paddling in silent awe of the natural wonders that surround you. It is a remote
trip, so, of course, there are certain obstacles that I must overcome. Since we'll
be camping, I'll have to be able to get up from the ground by myself. It's hard to
explain exactly why this is difficult. I'm making great strides in my strength and
agility. I can put on my own socks and shoes! But there is the element of
coordination. It's like an injured animal. It comes on its own terms, in it's own
time, if at all. And is just as likely to scamper off, just when you think you've
won it over. But I can get up from the ground now, using 6" of mat to bring the
ground just a little closer to me. Kurt Hoelting has two trips scheduled next
year. I'm shooting for the second. For Christmas, my son Jeff is taking me out in
his sea kayak. Interesting how the people around us can be drawn into the wake of
our dreams. Within a month of deciding that I wanted to make this trip, I came home
from Stephen LaBerge's dream camp at Stanford and found a sea kayak in my garage! I
had to do a reality check to figure out if I was dreaming.
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I have wildly ecstatic
dreams, but this year has been so way, way, way over the top of my wildest dreams
that it has frequently left me post-verbal, in a nevernever-state beyond the ability
to share in words. Furtunately, not today.
With a grateful heart to all of you who have threads woven into this emerging
tapestry- Cathy

Cathy Jensen 1999

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